It is my distinct pleasure to announce the fully operational status of...
"THE ARTIST’S SIGNATURE"
...manufacturers of superior film criticism, expressly designed and crafted to be of little use to anyone.
Utilizing only the most slanderous accusations and outrageous flights of fancy, T.A.S.’s staff of highly skilled and experienced artisans and journeymen deliver a product of unparalleled quality; enabling me to proffer with absolute confidence and pride a full line of raving lunacies and paranoid fantasies unsurpassed in all respects by my competitors. (See attached list and available colors.)
Anticipating the enclosed blogs will meet with your approval, I look forward to a long and mutually prosperous association, and extend to you in advance my sincerest gratitude and very best regards,